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Četvrtak 18 Rebiu-l-evvel 1439

Dec. 6th, 2017 | 07:33 pm
music: Soul in Limbo - I Am What You Will Be (Part 2)

Planet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Jupiter

Prophet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Moses

The Sun is in 15 Sagittarius (in my 3rd house): Sea gulls fly around a ship in expectation of food. (Symbol for 16 Sagittarius from Dane Rudhyar, An Astrological Mandala)

The Moon is at 02Leo23 (in my 11th house). Lunar mansion (according to Ibn 'Arabi): 10, The Sphere of Stations, Sky of Fixed Stars, Sun of Paradise and Roof of Hell, letter Shīn, The Powerful (Al-Muqtadīr)

Lunar phase: Disseminating - Demonstration (phase names and keywords from Dane Rudhyar, The Lunation Cycle)

In about 2 hours, the Moon will transit my natal North Node (in my 11th house). In the morning, the Moon will transit my natal Mars (in my 11th house).

Looking forward to working at home in the morning. Thursday has become my catch-up day.


Peace,

KH

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Srijeda 17 Rebiu-l-evvel 1439

Dec. 5th, 2017 | 06:55 pm
music: Sundummy - Beyond the Reef 2

Planet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Mercury

Prophet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Jesus

The Sun is in 14 Sagittarius (in my 3rd house): The ground hog looking for its shadow on Ground-Hog Day, February 2. (Symbol for 15 Sagittarius from Dane Rudhyar, An Astrological Mandala)

The Moon is at 17Can12 (in my 10th house). Lunar mansion (according to Ibn 'Arabi): 9, The Sphere without Stars, The Zodical Towers, letter Jīm, The Independent, The Rich (Al-Ghanī)

Lunar phase: Full Moon - Fulfillment (phase names and keywords from Dane Rudhyar, The Lunation Cycle)

In about 2.5 hours, the Moon will enter my 11th house. In the late morning, the Sun will enter my 4th house. I the late afternoon, the Moon will enter its Disseminating phase, whose keyword is Demonstration. A few minutes after that, the Moon will enter Leo.

While I did perform the jacija ('iša) prayer after writing last night, I did not end up meditating. Instead, I worked on a couple of math problems. In any case, I did something that was not related to my university duties.

Some more work to do before I head to bed this evening. Feeling a bit more relaxed about pacing myself in order to manage my energy level.


Peace,

KH

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Utorak 16 Rebiu-l-evvel 1439

Dec. 4th, 2017 | 07:39 pm
music: All India Radio - Grey

Planet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Mars

Prophet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Aaron & John

The Sun is in 13 Sagittarius (in my 3rd house): The Great Pyramid and the Sphinx. (Symbol for 14 Sagittarius from Dane Rudhyar, An Astrological Mandala)

The Moon is at 02Can33 (in my 10th house). Lunar mansion (according to Ibn 'Arabi): 8, The Pedestal with The Two Feet, letter Kā, The Grateful (Ash-Shakūr)

Lunar phase: Full Moon - Fulfillment (phase names and keywords from Dane Rudhyar, The Lunation Cycle)

Just pausing between having stopped work for the day and preparing to pray and meditate before going to bed.


Peace,

KH

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Petak/Džuma 12 Rebiu-l-evvel 1439

Nov. 30th, 2017 | 05:07 pm
music: Rudy Adrian - Dream of Subantarctica

Planet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Venus

Prophet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Joseph

The Sun is still in 8 Sagittarius (in my 3rd house): A mother leads her small child step by step up a steep stairway. (Symbol for 9 Sagittarius from Dane Rudhyar, An Astrological Mandala)

The Moon is at 00Tau53 (in my 8th house). Lunar mansion (according to Ibn 'Arabi): 3, The Universal Nature, letter ‘Ayn, The Interior (Al-Bāṭin)

Lunar phase: Gibbous - Overcoming (phase names and keywords from Dane Rudhyar, The Lunation Cycle)

About an hour and a half before sabah (fedžr), Venus will enter Sagittarius (in my 3rd house). In the late morning, the Moon will enter my 9th house. In the mid-to-late afternoon, Jupiter will enter my 3rd house.

I have been working at home this past day. I have feeling somewhat strange. I went to gym this past afternoon and mentioned it to the trainer. He attributed my feeling strange to a cold that has been going around and encouraged me to get some Zicam. I stopped at Walgreens on the way home and picked some up. There is a gala concert on campus tonight. I feel as if I should probably stay home, since I have to get up at 5 a.m. tomorrow in order to teach and I have responsibilities on the audition day on Saturday.


Peace,

KH

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Četvrtak 11 Rebiu-l-evvel 1439

Nov. 29th, 2017 | 08:28 pm
music: Herbst9 - A Sacred Dwelling

Planet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Jupiter

Prophet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Moses

The Sun is in 8 Sagittarius (in my 3rd house): A mother leads her small child step by step up a steep stairway. (Symbol for 9 Sagittarius from Dane Rudhyar, An Astrological Mandala)

The Moon is at 18Ari38 (in my 8th house). Lunar mansion (according to Ibn 'Arabi): 2, The Guarded Tablet, The Universal Soul, letter Hā, The One Who Calls Forth (Al-Bā‘ith)

Lunar phase: First Quarter Moon - Action (phase names and keywords from Dane Rudhyar, The Lunation Cycle)

About an hour before sabah (fedžr), the Moon will enter its Gibbous phase. In the late afternoon, the Moon will enter Taurus (in my 8th house).

Classes and meetings on campus today. I made it through, although I felt irritable and drained after the faculty meeting. Had a cinnamon bun this morning that I shouldn't have had.


Peace,

KH

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Srijeda 10 Rebiu-l-evvel 1439

Nov. 28th, 2017 | 08:34 pm
music: Haaj - Through the Ring (Fifth Passage)

Planet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Mercury

Prophet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Jesus

The Sun is in 7 Sagittarius (in my 3rd house): Within the depths of the earth new elements are being formed. (Symbol for 8 Sagittarius from Dane Rudhyar, An Astrological Mandala)

The Moon is at 5Ari02 (in my 7th house). Lunar mansion (according to Ibn 'Arabi): 1, The First Intellect, The Pen, letter ’Alif, Divine Essence (Al-Badī‘)

Lunar phase: First Quarter Moon - Action (phase names and keywords from Dane Rudhyar, The Lunation Cycle)

In the morning, the Moon will enter my 8th house). In the late morning, Mars will transit my natal Mercury.

I made it through my meetings on campus and my workout at the gym. Not entirely engaged, but neither was horrible. Finished the grading I had set out to do.

Ready to call it a night.


Peace,

KH

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Utorak 9 Rebiu-l-evvel 1439

Nov. 28th, 2017 | 07:26 am
music: Steve Roach - Structures from Silence

Planet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Mars

Prophet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Aaron & John

The Sun is in 6 Sagittarius (in my 3rd house): Cupid knocks at the door of a human heart. (Symbol for 7 Sagittarius from Dane Rudhyar, An Astrological Mandala)

The Moon is at 27Pis45 (in my 7th house). Lunar mansion (according to Ibn 'Arabi): 28, The Hierarchization of the Degrees of Existence, not their Manifestation, letter Wāw, The One Who Elevates by Degrees (Rafī‘-ud-Darjāt)

Lunar phase: First Quarter Moon - Action (phase names and keywords from Dane Rudhyar, The Lunation Cycle)

In about 4 hours, the Moon will enter Aries (in my 7th house), thus beginning a new cycle through the lunar mansions.

I have obviously been away from writing in this way and have decided that I miss it.

Looking back a couple of entries, I see that I sensed potential for healing in mid-to-late August, and then wrote from within the sense of loss after the death of my cat in October. Since then, I missed a Rosen appointment in early-to-mid November. It seemed that I had reached the limit of my ability to juggle my schedule. After discussing the situation briefly with the Rosen worker, I decided to take some time off.

Since I wrote in October, we adopted a beautiful adult female cat. We have been devoting ourselves to welcoming her into our home and it is going well. We were going to take a break from owning animals, but we decided that our desire to have a cat in the house was stronger than our desire to avoid the inconveniences of owning an animal or the pain of losing one.

NAJ has been releasing a series of video sohbets by Shaykha Fariha. I find that NAJ is still my reference with respect to tariqat, even though I do not find it practical to participate in person at the New York masjid. Mainly my practice consists of salat and my reading of Qur'an at home (in Arabic, Bosnian, and English, a few verses at a time), as well as reading a bit of Al-Ghazzali or Ibn 'Arabi from time to time. I did make it to the Qadiri-Rifai Sufi study group this past Sunday, however, for the first time since the summer.

Last Friday I went to džuma and a man who is sometimes the muezzin performed the role of imam. (Perhaps he is an assistant imam.) In the second part of the khutbah he announced the verdict of the ICTY against Ratko Mladić. In an understated way, it was a very moving moment. He seemed to be struggling a bit to remain composed as he made the announcement.

I am supposed to go to campus for a meeting today. I am in no hurry to do so. Last week was Thanksgiving break. I used much of my time over the break to plan courses for next semester. I want to open up more space for myself in my life, and I am not sure how to go about it. Perhaps taking the time to write this is a start.


Peace,

KH

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Recent goings-on

Oct. 12th, 2017 | 09:38 am

Our beloved elder-kitty passed away early Sunday morning. She had suffered a stroke at the end of August and we devoted ourselves to her care as she made a partial recovery before becoming burdened with other medical issues.

I went to Rosen yesterday and this provided an opportunity to process some of my feelings around this. I found that this loss--combined with the fact of my having attended calling hours at a funeral home to support the family of a colleague whose teenage son had recently committed suicide--brought me back to feelings I had experienced after my mother's death, when I began to the support I was able to receive within the Amma group to be inadequate, and when I experienced my closest friendship within that group to be faltering even more than it had begun to do the previous summer (when my mother began to enter the final stages of her illness). It was about a month after my mother's death that i began to participate in Rosen sessions.

Perhaps the most important moment in the Rosen session yesterday came when I acknolwedged my anger over my disillusionment with the Amma group, and with my close friendship within it in particular. At that point I lost awareness of pressure that I had been feeling in my shoulders and something relaxed within me, as if I were better able to physically and psychologically embody my anger rather than feel a need to bottle it up or express it cathartically. It was at that time that I began to examine the nature of the ideology within the Amma satsang and I began to regard with a greater degree of critical distance (rather than to continue to try to immerse myself within it as uncritically as I had done in the past).

I shared some thoughts with the Rosen worker regarding what I have begun to refer to as "the morning after the morning after" when it comes to dealing with loss. In the initial stages following a loss ("the morning after") one typically receives expressions of sympathy and this constitutes a form of direct attention from others. Following that process ("the morning after the morning after") one continues to experience and work through grief over the loss, and this is when some people may become impatient or unsympathetic, or may demand that the grieving person take care of their feelings (by refraining from talking further about the loss, by making efforts to appear happy and "over it" rather than appearing sad or depressed, of demonstrably more faithful to the guru, etc.). This is a critical stage at which I have often felt a sense of rage and betrayal, and this has sometimes led my severing ties with the people who no longer appeared sympathetic and who, in retrospect, may not actually have been as supportive as they would like to have believed.

As I mentioned to the Rosen worker, it seems to me that the pain of grief can act as an agent of truth, and it can cast a harsh light on some relationships as it exposes their flaws. While it may have been easier to work around the limitations of certain relationships in the past, when things weren't quite so difficult emotionally, it can become impossible in the presence of grief. The "gift" of these emerging truths regarding the limitations of certain established relationships may be difficult to accept, but if it isn't accepted one's growth may become limited.

There is more to write about this, but I think now is a good time to take a break and get on with other aspects of my day.


Peace,

KH

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Utorak 30 Zu-l-kade 1438

Aug. 22nd, 2017 | 03:41 pm
music: troum - dhren

Planet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Mars

Prophet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Aaron & John

The Sun is in 29 Leo (in my 12th house): An unsealed letter. (Symbol for 30 Leo from Dane Rudhyar, An Astrological Mandala)

The Moon is at 13Vir16 (in my 12th house). Lunar mansion (according to Ibn 'Arabi): 13, The Third Sky, Sky of Mars and House of Aaron, letter Lām, The Victorious (Al-Qahhār)

Lunar phase: New Moon - Emergence (phase names and keywords from Dane Rudhyar, The Lunation Cycle)

About 15 minutes after midnight, the Moon transited my natal Uranus (in my 12th house). About 30 minutes after noon, the Moon transited my natal Pluto (in my 12th house). In about 3 hours, the Sun will enter Virgo (in my 12th house). About 40 minutes after jacija ('isha), the Moon will cross my Ascendant and enter my 1st house.

Yesterday's eclipse occurred in my 12th house, which is currently occupied by the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Mars, and North Node. Meanwhile, Venus is trining my natal Venus from my 11th house to my 3rd, to the exact degree and minute.

What inspired me to write today was that I went to Rosen and experienced the closest thing to an Amma darshan that I had experienced since I last went (briefly) to a public program 5 years ago.

I also recently started working with a couple of trainers at a local gym as a way of following up on my foot injury from earlier in the year.

We recently had the house sided and the electrical hookup replaced. I am also moving into a new, bigger office on campus.

In general, it seems as if there may be some deep healing going on, along with rebuilding in several areas of my life.


Peace,

KH

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Ponedjeljak 9 Ševval 1438

Jul. 3rd, 2017 | 01:40 pm
music: Satie - Rosicrucian music

Planet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Moon

Prophet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Adam

The Sun is in 11 Cancer (in my 10th house): A Chinese woman nursing a baby whose aura reveals him to be the reincarnation of a great teacher. (Symbol for 12 Cancer from Dane Rudhyar, An Astrological Mandala)

The Moon is at 12Sco23 (in my 2nd house). Lunar mansion (according to Ibn 'Arabi): 18, Sphere of the Ether and the Meteors, Center of Fire, letter Tā, The Seizer (Al-Qābiḍ).

Lunar phase: First Quarter - Action (phase names and keywords from Dane Rudhyar, The Lunation Cycle)

Overnight, Mars entered my 11th house. Early this morning, the Moon transited my natal Sun (in my 2nd house). In the late morning, the Moon entered my 3rd house. In about 2 hours, the Moon will transit my natal Neptune (in my 3rd house).

I have obviously relaxed a bit about writing here regularly.

Since I last wrote, I have continued to prepare for the coming semester and have also made some tentative moves toward pursuing a scholarly research agenda.

Mainly I am continuing the process of reflecting on the range of my activities over the past 15 years or so, seeking some healing around issues of greater and lesser degrees of academic productivity versus time and energy spent on projects that are meaningful to me personally.

Amid lingering concerns about the time and energy required to do so, I have decided to resume some astrological projects that I had laid aside because of work commitments (or because of guilt related to possibly missing more oportunities to demonstrate scholarly productivity because of diverting my attention in other directions).

One of the projects I am currently pursuing is to resume my re-reading of Rudhyar's book on the astrological houses. I am currently reviewing and taking notes on his chapter on the 6th house, which has to do with servanthood and discipleship. Characteristically for Rudhyar, this function of this house has to do with growth through crisis. While reviewing this chapter, I began to think about the transit of Uranus through my 6th house and its connection with my (mis)adventures in the Amma org. On this (re)consideration of that period, I paid attention not only to the conjunctions of transiting Uranus to my natal 6th hosue planets, but also to the aspects formed by transiting Uranus to other planets in my chart. What I discovered was that my participation in the Amma org followed a period in which transiting Uranus squared natal Venus. I recalled having the thought, as I was preparing to leave my former position in my former city, "Maybe I'll have an affair." It seems as if Uranus may have been tugging at Venus to try to get my attention around some energies that might come into play later.

I have been over this many times, in part because the timing was so precise and symbolism so clear, but my meeting of X and my introduction to the Amma org came when transiting Uranus was conjunct natal Jupiter in Pisces, and Uranus in fact stationed retrograde right on my natal Jupiter (the image I have of that is one of burning a hole in paper by concentrating the rays of the sun through a magnifying glass). That was the blissful and intoxicating beginning of that initiatory process. The painful portion came when transiting Uranus was conjunct my natal Chiron, which featured another retrograde station. Meanwhile, transiting Uranus was opposing natal Uranus in Virgo in the 12th house, a classic marker of the onset of midlife crisis. Because of Uranus's retrograde motion and the proximity of Jupiter and Chiron in my natal chart, Uranus transited my natal Jupiter once again. This coincided with my hopes of a repair of my failing friendship with X and with our trip to Amma's November program in Michigan that year (2004). We were able to experience some enjoyable moments on that trip, but my trust in our friendship was clearly faltering. Its definitive end came when (now direct) Uranus transited my natal Chiron once again.

While transiting Uranus was still in range of Chiron (intermittently by retrograde and direct motion), it began to oppose natal Pluto in Virgo in the 12th house. What I hadn't seen before was how this opposition coincided with ups and downs, and presence and absence, in my friendship with Y, which appears to have serving a related but distinct archetypal purpose from my friendship with X.

Around the time that Uranus was leaving my 6th house and entering upon the final third of Pisces in my 7th house, my mother died. That event showed up the failures of satsang and of my (now struggling) friendship with Y to provide the support that I previously believed them to be able to provide during the latter stages of my mother's illness. The next significant aspect from transiting Uranus began at that time, when Uranus squared my natal Moon in Sagittarius in my 4th house. This was not about reaching out toward new relationships, but rather about reviewing my experiences of maternal nurturing from a different, less personal perspective. I began Rosen work at that time and my friendship with Y faded steadily. He moved to the West Coast later that year.

What I gained from this re-examination of this period is the sense that a particular kind of process had played itself and then other processes began. It makes sense to me that I would miss the intensity of period and that it would remain a point of reference (as all deep initiatory experiences will do), but it also reassures me that I needn't feel that I have to undergo that kind of intensity again in order to have further experiences of growth. Part of the attraction of that intensity was that it felt as if so much potent energy was coming at me from the outside that I needed to do was to ride along with it and some sort of transformation was likely to occur. That may be true for part of processes such as those, but then it seems inevitable that there will be some sort of crash (or more than one crash or disappointment) and the next part of the process will feel alienating and like an uphill climb.


Peace,

KH

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