I had what seems to have been a productive session in therapy today. I followed up on the feelings that came up last time, which were echoes of the kind of solar-plexus discomfort I had when X separated from me suddenly, following the revelation of the abuse that he had experienced earlier in his life.
Today the topic shifted to my husband's infidelity during the time he was studying in Germany. The bodily sensations associated with the retelling of that story seemed to come from an even deeper place than the previous time. It seemed like second chakra stuff, but related mainly to anchoring and security rather than to sex per se.
As I look back on some of the key crisis points that have come up in therapy, it is interesting that, each time, Pluto was transiting over a significant position in my natal chart. It transited my Sun during the period when I met my husband and my parents rejected me as a result. (That was back in 1985-86.) It transited my Venus when my partner had the affair in Germany (in 1995), and it transited my Moon during the period when my mother was diagnosed with cancer and when I was friends with X (beginning in 2002-03). That wasn't the only thing going on astrologically during these periods, but it seems to have been involved with the intensity of those experiences.
It seems that I am trying to learn how to flow with the remnants of these experiences rather than cringe from them by trying to stay busy, and hoping that similar events will not occur in the future. Slowly, some more intuitive, more flowing spaces seem to be opening up.
And so, to bed.