I'm not quite sure why this particular cluster of thoughts came together this morning as I was clearing snow (once again) from the driveway and front steps. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that the Moon is currently transiting my 11th house, the house traditionally associated with friendship and with hopes and dreams. Among my hopes and dreams, to be sure, is to become sufficiently caught up in my "other-related" taskwork in the near future so that I can find some time and energy to return to some projects of my own choosing. Among those projects is my unfinished astrological survey of my year-by-year planetary directions according to the method developed by Kennet Gillman. Previously I had discovered that, perhaps in connection with that work, there was a shift in my focus in therapy and in Rosen from early childhood development to a more exploratory, social phase of my development. This was the time when my family had moved to our second house, I was between the ages of 4 and 7, I began school, and my brother was born.
As I was working outside this morning, the thought/feeling I had was that perhaps my friendship with X had brought up issues related to my early development. My friendship with him was intermittent, brief, and intense. It was over and done with in less than 2 years. That friendship had its traumas galore, and maybe the fact that some of those things seem to have started to move in the direction of healing in therapy recently is a signal that I'm moving on to review the next set of issues. I have been finding that my friendship with Y has been coming up for review more frequently lately. This morning it seemed to me that, just as my friendship with X may have brought up issues related to early development, perhaps my friendship with Y may have brought up traumas related to the next, more social, phase of my development. Though it may have been more subtle in its effects than my friendship with X, my friendship with Y was longer-lasting, and may ultimately have been more insidious and more damaging. After all, after the failure of my friendship with X, I at least was willing to reach out and try to make other friends within the Amma group. After Y, however, there has been a resounding silence in my social life. That friendship was effectively over about 7 years ago, just as my friendship with X was over about 10 years ago. Interestingly, 7- and 10-year cycles are fundamental to Gillman's astrological approach.
Perhaps, as I have a chance to get back to some of my projects, I will come into contact with feelings related to the original social traumas whose effects may have been acted out in my friendship with Y.