Khalid Hussain (khalid_hussain) wrote,
Khalid Hussain

Nedjelja, 17 Ševval, 1436

Planet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Sun

Prophet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Idris (Enoch)

Lunar phase: Full Moon - Fulfillment

The Sun is in 9 Leo (in my 11th house): At sunrise, the servants are cleaning up after an all-night feast. They pick their way through the sleeping revelers, and select some of the more wholesome food for themselves. (Symbol for 10 Leo from Martin Goldsmith, The Zodiac by Degrees, 2nd ed.) Early morning dew sparkles as sunlight floods the field. (Symbol for 10 Leo from Dane Rudhyar, An Astrological Mandala)

Late this evening, the Moon will transit my natal Jupiter (in my 6th house). Just before dawn, Mercury will enter my 12th house. Just after drawn, the Moon will transit my natal Chiron (in my 6th house). Just before Zuhr (Podne), the Sun will transit my natal Mars (in my 11th house).

It seems as if there may be some "movement" of "energy" between my husband and me with respect to the issue of home improvements. Last Saturday--rather strangely, it seemed to me--he refused to participate in a conversation with the contractor's salesperson who was here. Changes to my material surroundings don't come easily to me. In fact, I was moving ahead on soliciting information about home improvements because I had refused to conduct business transactions during Ramadan and had promised to resume dealing with contractors, etc., once Ramadan was over. I felt that I had made the appointment with the home improvement contractor's representative mainly in order to pacify my husband, who then abandoned me to deal with the representative on my own. This left me feeling unsupported and abandoned which, since it touched on issues of personal security--and also dignity, as I felt forced into a compromised position in front of this representative because of my husband's intransigent refusal to even meet him while he was in the house--and, naturally, this led to feelings of rage, fantasies of divorce, etc.

One of the associations with Al-Halim (which is the Name that the Sufi group has been focusing on) is restraint of anger when we are tempted to fly off the handle. In fact, I had thought of the incident with my husband and the salesperson during the discussion last week, but the incident was too fresh and too unresolved for me to feel comfortable discussing it. In reading ahead on Al-Halim, I came across the following during the past day: "It is always a challenge for us to be halim because, in the midst of frustration and anger, the last thing that generally comes to us is al-Halim. However, we might find that in the midst of such upheaval there is a dark lapce we may go that is like dark matter in physics. Dark matter is the basic ingredient from which creation can take place. In this place, we can create." Later, the text reads: "Eachsi gh takes you to the abyss, to the deep, to the dark, to the gentle. And there the Beloved is waiting. The tender love of al-Halim arises 'I am beyond my anger, I am beyond my hurt. I am beyond my pride, I am beyond my brokenness. I am waiting in this eternal peacefulness, and I know that in this infinite patience is the womb of creation. In this place, I can create or I can be created.' This is hulm. And it is a feminine quality in the love of God." In between these two passages are references to the terror of abandonment that lies behind self-protective anger, and to the lashing out that can come from that place.

Although the link to the Divine Mother video arrived while I was focusing on Al-Barr, which has to do with the harmonizing of opposites, I can see aspects of the description of Al-Halim that clearly reference the imagery that has been associated by some people with Kali.

This past afternoon, my husband and I were able to shop without freaking out, and we purchased some items that we plan to have installed as part of the process of upgrading the home. I think we are finally outgrowing the mentality that we live in an apartment that it is someone else's responsibility to maintain, or that we are poor, starting-out homeowners who need to cut corners in everything we do for the house. It's time to let that go, to balance our plans against our resources and our other priorities, and proceed to take steps to deal with our physical environment.



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