Khalid Hussain (khalid_hussain) wrote,
Khalid Hussain

Petak/Džuma, 13 Zu-l-ka'de, 1436

Planet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Venus

Prophet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Joseph

Lunar phase: Gibbous - Overcoming (Phase names and keywords from Dane Rudhyar, The Lunation Cycle)

The Sun has passed through 3 Virgo and is now in 4 Virgo (in my 12th house): Black and white children play together happily. A man becoming aware of nature spirits and normally unseen spiritual agencies. (Symbols for 4 and 5 Virgo from Dane Rudhyar, An Astrological Mandala) A field of corn standing high and ripe. A soldier prepared for battle. (Symbols for 4 and 5 Virgo from The Degrees of the Zodiac Symbolized, Sepharial's set)

The Moon entered Aquarius, and then transited my natal South Node (in my 5th house). Mercury entered Libra (in my 1st house). The Moon then transited my natal Saturn (in my 5th house). Overnight, the Sun will transit my natal Uranus (in my 12th house). In the afternoon, the Moon will enter my 6th house.

Well, I guess it has been a busy couple of days, astrologically as well as otherwise. Time got away from me somewhat yesterday. During the past day I was on campus to administer some placement tests. My office setup is still a work in progress. There was a committee emergency. But, so far, I am sticking to my guns and limiting my hours on university email and am refusing to let crises derail my own work plans.

A year ago this evening we had our little gray cat put down. It was an awful experience. Looking back on the past year, I see that I attempted the "talking" cure (i.e., therapy) and the "social" cure (i.e., reaching out to make some new friends). Ultimately, however, I think among the best things I can do for myself is to be brutally honest--at least with myself--about the way I see things. I have felt pressure--within Sufism as well as within other paths--to engage in a process of ceaseless self-blame and to reinforce behaviors and attitudes that enable others to be exploitative. Some may call that spiritual progress, but I think it's pathological. I also think it plays easily into the hands of "teachers" who have control issues and who are looking for easy marks.

I have been reading Langdon Hammer's biography of poet James Merrill. (I'm not sure if I mentioned that already but, you know, I'm getting old.) There are some insights there that have been stimulating similar insights about my own life.

I just can't see how giving up on my own interests and my own standards in favor what some therapists or spiritual seekers claim works for them--all evidence to the contrary notwithstanding--is supposed to make me "happy." Forgiving myself for not "getting" that one.



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