Khalid Hussain (khalid_hussain) wrote,
Khalid Hussain

Četvrtak 27 Rebiu-l-evvel 1437

Planet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Jupiter

Prophet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Moses

Lunar phase: Balsamic - Release (Phase names and keywords from Dane Rudhyar, The Lunation Cycle)

The Sun is in 16 Capricorn (in my 4th house): A repressed woman finds a psychological release in nudism. (Symbol for 17 Capricorn from Dane Rudhyar, An Astrological Mandala)

A few minutes before sabah/zora (fedžr), the Moon will enter my 4th house.

The 4th house is often associated with home and family, and planets entering it with things coming home to roost. As I looked at the (Gregorian) date for the coming day, I was reminded that it is my paternal grandmother's birthday. Had she still been alive, she would have turned 100 "today" (i.e., tomorrow according to the Gregorian calendar, where the days begin at midnight rather than at sunset). She passed away in July 2005, several months shy of her 90th birthday. I was at an Amma program, seated in the auditorium, looking up at Amma on the stage, when I received the voice mail from my father informing me that my grandmother had died. Of all my relatives, she was the only who understood me intuitively and accepted me without reservation.

Over the past couple of days, I have been made aware of the scandals surrounding Jewish spiritual teacher Marc Gafni (via the Guruphiliac FB page). The recent articles on him were well written and painted a convincing portrait of a serial abuser. What really clicked for me, as I read these materials, was the understanding that I had participated in fairly typical, and fairly questionable, dynamics during my time in the Amma group, but perhaps (to a lesser extent) during my time in other groups as well. In reading of the involvement of New Agers--including John Mackey (founder of Whole Foods), Ken Wilber, and (although briefly) Arianna Huffington--on boards, etc., with Gafni, I was struck by the ways in which some of them referenced their personal intuitions that Gafni is okay, or how some rationalized that people with his "shakti" may have difficulty channeling their sexual impulses constructively. This, from an ex-wife, was particularly striking.

I traced back my involvement in spiritual groups, the first initiatory group of which was the Nimatullahi under Nurbakhsh. From shortly after my initiation, I questioned whether I was properly committed for the sake of spiritual transformation (or whatever). It took me years to consider seriously the plausibility of the accusations of sexual impropriety that had been made against him. Maybe, ultimately, the corrupting factor for everyone involved in such groups is the pursuit of some sort of extraordinary charisma. There definitely are effects to be experienced in some groups, and sometimes these are associated with apparently privileged access to spontaneous insights into one's personal history, spiritual destiny, etc. But maybe, rather than be harbingers of spiritual awakening and indications of positive future directions, these experiences are ultimately about being thrust back into areas in which we are particularly vulnerable, until the only genuine way forward is to grow up and leave and to take stock of our lives from the standpoint of whatever perspectives we may have gained along the way, including the potentially pathological ones (such as the idea that we must remain loyal to a given group in order to mature personally/spiritually).



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