August 5th, 2010

Hu design

First day of vacation

My partner and I were lying in bed this morning, listening to the thunder outside on what we imagined would be the first day of our beach vacation. Oh, well. Maybe we'll go to the aquarium instead. There's always the pool at the hotel, or the jacuzzi in the hotel room. :-)

Well, yesterday was quite an outpouring of personal (and astro-speculative) writing. I didn't get shit done in my professional work. Oh, well.

But we met with our financial advisor (for whatever that was worth) and had dinner with a spiritual friend of my partner's. Actually, having worked through the things that I wrote yesterday helped me to encapsulate some of what's been going on during a rare conversation with someone who kind of "gets it."

A couple of things I didn't mention yesterday are that I've been enjoying reading the periodicals New Internationalist and Adbusters. Having been raised to believe that if I worked hard and kissed ass, I would be taken care of by the "system," I felt awkward, confused, and behind when my friends in college would spout off about the latest social injustice, American foreign policy, etc. Of course, a number of them have gone on to become investment bankers or corporate attorneys: pfft!! But having found my way circuitously through the postings on Peter Wilberg's blog, the writings of David Smail, etc.--basically, through acknowledging the failures of standard middle-class spiritual seeking, psychotherapy, and academia--I'm finding it invigorating to read reporting and opinion from alternative sources. For one thing, even within the realm of English-language publications, it's amazing how one's perspective can open up if, instead of just the US, one considers perspectives from other major English-speaking countries: the UK, Canada, Australia.

Another source that's providing inspiration of a different sort is the publications and discourses of Swami Satyananda of Devi Mandir. This is an American swami who publishes classic Sanskrit texts in Devanagiri script, transliteration, and esoteric English interpretation. I've been working through his versions of the Devi Mahatmya and the Rudrashtadhyayi and eventually realized that I can simply download the mp3s of his online classes, burn them to CD, and listen to them in the car (the "chariot": how appropriate for Hindu instruction). He has an irrepressible enthusiasm that kind of reminds of Lex Hixon. It can shock one out of one's doldrums, but also raises questions regarding his acquaintance with the day-to-day struggles of being a householder and an employee. In any event, what he says is more than merely cliche or obvious, and I find that it bring a bit more "crazy" energy and light to the daily practices that I do in connection with Amma. Actually they're quite compatible, because both Amma and Swami/Shree Maa seem to be primarily focused within the Shakta and Shaiva traditions.

OK, time to start getting organized.

Om Shiva-Shaktyaika rupinyai namaha,