Khalid Hussain (khalid_hussain) wrote,
Khalid Hussain

Utorak 3 Ša'ban 1437

Planet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Mars

Prophet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Aaron & John

The Sun is in 19 Taurus (in my 9th house): Wisps of winglike clouds streaming across the sky. (Symbol for 20 Taurus from Dane Rudhyar, An Astrological Mandala)

The Moon is at 4Can09 (in my 10th house). Lunar mansion (according to Ibn 'Arabi): 8, The Pedestal with The Two Feet, letter Kā, The Grateful (Ash-Shakūr)

Lunar phase: New Moon - Emergence (Phase names and keywords from Dane Rudhyar, The Lunation Cycle)

In about an hour, the Moon will enter its Crescent phase, whose keyword is Expansion. (The Moon will be in Cancer in my 10th house and the Sun will be in Taurus in my 9th house).

I went for a Rosen appointment this past day. I hadn't been in several months because the Rosen worker had broken her shoulder after slipping on some ice in early February. The work went fairly deep into a chronically held area between my shoulder blades.

Before I got on the table, I mentioned to her that I was aware of some tension and pushing and pulling in my back muscles that accompanied some difficult moods I had dealt with over the Mother's Day weekend. My husband's mother died a couple of years ago, and I continue to struggle over the difficulties in my relationship with my mother and in the loss of that relationship several years ago. This morning my husband and I spoke briefly about feeling depressed over the weekend, and he mentioned that he found himself avoiding Facebook for much of the day on Sunday. I think it may be a cultural issue that, when one's relationship with one's mother does not fit into the category of sentimentalization and narcissistic display on social media, one can feel that there is something wrong with oneself. After I described this to the Rosen worker, she said that she was sure that there were millions of people struggling with similar feelings over the Mother's Day weekend, and that she found herself among them. She said that she was feeling some relief about her own situation by hearing about mine.

As I was in the waiting room before the appointment, I was (of course) checking FB on my phone and came across an article about a recent interview that Troye Sivan gave in which he discusses his internalized homophobia. I have seen his coming out video and also the follow-up he did (in which he talked about the continuing process of coming out). He seems to have enjoyed great support from his family, but realizes that this is clearly not the case for lots of other people. Obviously, his world is pop culture--he was a YouTube teen star and is now a pop singer--but he also seems to be really intelligent and thougtful. As I have mentioned before, I am finding it healing that people like him and Olly Alexander have put their personal experiences in the forefront of their pop music and have also spoken out about their issues around sexuality.

I also recall that the last time I mentioned the Kennet Gillman astrology work, the year I focused on was my senior year of high school, when I was outed after my mother read my journal about a crush I had on another high school senior who I had met through a friend. That was heavy going. I ought to have expected some difficult feelings to come up on Mother's Day weekend after having reflected on that period of my life.



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