Khalid Hussain (khalid_hussain) wrote,
Khalid Hussain

Petak/Džuma 19 Ramazan 1437

Planet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Venus

Prophet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Joseph

The Sun is still in 2 Cancer (in my 10th house): A man bundled in fur leads a shaggy deer. (Symbol for 3 Cancer from Dane Rudhyar, An Astrological Mandala)

The Moon is at 15Aqu51 (in my 5th house). Lunar mansion (according to Ibn 'Arabi): 25, The Angels, letter Fā, The Strong (Al-Qawī)

Lunar phase: Full Moon - Fulfillment (Phase names and keywords from Dane Rudhyar, The Lunation Cycle)

Overnight, the Moon will enter its Disseminating phase, whose keyword is Demonstration. (The Moon will be at 18Aqu07 in my 5th house and the Sun will be at 3Can07 in my 10th house.) About an hour after zora/sabah (fedžr), the Moon will enter my 6th house.

Worked at home this past day. A new computer came yesterday and I am still working on customizing it.

I noticed that my back and neck were particularly tight and decided that today was the day to address that. Fortunately the temperature was mild today, so that made it easier to exercise while fasting. I spent a fair amount of time focusing on news about Orlando and related issues last week and during the first part of this week. It was time to recognize that the feelings that that aroused were causing me to accumulate physical tension. I felt as if I were easing into my decision to exercise, as if I would need to be gentle with myself as I chose to move past the initial rush of reaction to that event. As stressful as it was to be faced with old feelings around coming out, being rejected by family, being shamed by friends and ex-lovers, etc., it was also a rich and intense experience that gave my life a focus for a time. It was time to let my attachment to that intensity go and to return to activities in which I had been invested before the news of the shooting broke.

As I was working on one of my projects, a name of a Hindu deity associated with a former friend came up. I decided to do an online search using the former friends ashram name and found a contribution he had written for a collective blog and a photo. As of November of last year, he was at the ashram in India. In the photo, he did seem to be in his element, and as I looked at it I was struck with a blast of "high" energy: that, it was spiritual "head" energy, and not energy related to emotional attachment, anger, loss, revulsion, etc. That reminded me of what had initially drawn me into the idea that he represented some kind of potential spritual freedom, for me as well as for himself. Of course, beyond the shell of the spiritual image there are lies and emotional cruelty. In the grand scheme of things, those kinds of intense polarizations of character are probably pretty common among Western people who feel compelled to live extended periods of their lives in Indian ashrams.

It is probably timely that I was able to find his post and photo online when I did, for this is a time when Jupiter is about to come over my Ascendant, as it did when I met Javad Nurbakhsh (who initiated me into Sufism) and then when I received initiation by Amma. I am feeling an increasing sense of acceptance of the texture of my own life and a more palpable sense of centering and spiritual return when I pray.



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