Khalid Hussain (khalid_hussain) wrote,
Khalid Hussain

Četvrtak 5 Muharrem 1438

Planet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Jupiter

Prophet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Moses

The Sun is in 13 Libra (in my 2nd house) Having passed safely through narrow rapids, a canoe reaches calm waters. (Symbol for 14 Libra from Dane Rudhyar, An Astrological Mandala)

The Moon is at 7Sag43 (in my 3rd house). Lunar mansion (according to Ibn 'Arabi): 20, The Water, letter Sīn, The Life-Giver (Al-Muḥyī)

Lunar phase: Crescent - Expansion (Phase names and keywords from Dane Rudhyar, The Lunation Cycle)

In the morning, the Moon will enter my 4th house.

Classes and a meeting on campus today. Feeling drained and as if I'm coming down with a cold. (I seem to keep coming back to the place of feeling on the verge of getting a cold without quite going over the edge so far. This has been going on since the weather changed about a week and a half ago.)

I spoke with an adjunct who is doing a presentation to high school teachers, related to something that I used to coordinate a few years ago. I felt some pressure from him to keep things "positive" and I resisted by being uncompromisingly critical of the structure of the program as I experienced it. I hate it when people say that they want my perspective, and then pressure me to change my perspective when it doesn't fit into their artificially spun version of how the world works. If you don't want my real perspective, then don't waste my time. But don't imply that my perspective isn't valid and expect to get away with that without being pummelled with "negative" information from me.

It has been a theme with me lately that I feel blamed for the way I experience stressful situations, and yet I continue to work really hard to meet other people's needs first and in the process neglect my own, and I get blamed for that, too, and for my frustration around that. I can't help that other people are lazy, incompetent, and dishonest. That's not how I do things.

I'm getting to the point where I feel that I really need to embrace the isolation that I feel, because intuitively it seems that my richest opportunities lie down that path. I'm also sensing the arrival of my second Saturn return in a couple of years. It seems that the key to accepting the "lessons" of that lies in accepting limitation and the defeat of some of my projects (personal as well as professional) and then keeping my sights set on managing the resources that I realistically have at my disposal, even if the outcomes might not look like much to others.

Addendum: I just looked at my transits. It turns out that Saturn is getting ready to transit my natal Moon. That transit will be active from Dec 2016 through Sep 2017. No wonder that things feel tough and isolating on an emotional level. Lots of fatigue, too.



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