Khalid Hussain (khalid_hussain) wrote,
Khalid Hussain

  • Music:

Nedjelja 24 Rebi'u-l-ahir 1438

Planet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Sun

Prophet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Idris (Enoch)

The Sun is in 2 Aquarius (in my 5th house) A deserter from the Navy. (Symbol for 3 Aquarius from Dane Rudhyar, An Astrological Mandala)

The Moon is at 24Sco03 (in my 3rd house). Lunar mansion (according to Ibn 'Arabi): 19, The Air, letter Zāy, The Living (Al-Ḥayy)

Lunar phase: Last Quarter - Re-orientation (Phase names and keywords from Dane Rudhyar, The Lunation Cycle)

Haindl Tarot: Alchemy (Temperance); Number: 14; Hebrew letter: Samekh (Tent Peg); Rune: Laguz (Water); Astrology: Sagittarius; Element: Fire

In about 4 hours, the Moon will transit my natal Venus (in my 3rd house). About 4 minutes before sabah (fedžr), the Moon will enter Sagittarius (in my 3rd house).

Took care of audition day theory and musicianship tests this past day. While on campus I found out that the former office of a recently retired colleague has been given to an adjunct who has been vying for a more permanent position. When the adjunct (who is British) told me about it, he went into one of his (pseudo-)bashful, (pseudo-)humble routines, since he knows it would have been more sensible for the department head to offer me that space, rather than the place I'm in now. Rather than play into his behavior by reassuring him, I said, "Well, I've grown accustomed to the way that I've been treated around here for the last fifteen years." This led to his trying to reassure me that this wasn't his doing. My follow-up comment was, "It's typical of the way that management decisions are made around here, by administrative fiat." When I interact with him, I find myself often playing the malcontent and the cynical, disillusioned faculty member--which, in a sense, I am. But this adjunct has a way of playing up how he is always trying to academically rescue the underdog students in our program. I suspect that his motives are mixed: he may genuinely want to teach well, but I also sense that the plays this up for his own self-aggrandizement. So, by maintaining an underdog posture myself, rather than rushing to congratulate him, or reassure him, I'm testing his sincerity and thereby trying to keep him in a somewhat uncertain, vulnerable position. I think that my ultimate goal is to keep distance between us. In the past, there are times when I have felt quite positive about my interactions with him, and then there have been other times when it seemed to me that he may have been trying to split off some of his own insecurities and project them onto me. I've been through quite enough of that kind of dynamic when I was in the cult, thank you. Distance and healty suspicion seems to be the way to go here.

Then went to have dinner with my husband's family.



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