Khalid Hussain (khalid_hussain) wrote,
Khalid Hussain

Healing Pluto Problems

I just finished reading astrologer Donna Cunningham's book, Healing Pluto Problems. For a while I had been turning away from any approaches to distress that seemed New Age in orientation, but every once in a while something "intuitive" draws me back (how's that for being New Age).

DC has Pluto on the Ascendant as I do, and openly considers herself to be a Plutonian personality. The book helped to "out" me a little bit more with respect to my Plutonian traits.

Specifically, it helped me to see how--during Pluto's transit of my 4th house Moon (activating the natal square from Pluto's position on the 12th-house side of the Ascendant)--I was very naturally drawn into symbiotic friendships with spiritual seekers, people with marked Plutonian traits themselves. This was, of course, the time during which my mother was sick and dying.

Plutonians crave intensity in relationships (without it, there really isn't a relationship at all, just a polite coexistence--well, that, or isolation and brooding), but with intensity often come power struggles, underhanded tactics, betrayals, deep wounding, etc. In the process of losing the primary symbiotic relationship of one's life (whether it's smothering or estranged, or some of both), these are precisely the kinds of people who a) seem to be the only ones who can bring a sense of instant relief from the painful isolation that's an inevitable part of being forced to let go (by means of sickness and death) and b) are the absolute worst kinds of people to let into one's deep, vulnerable personal spaces. Oops! From a karmic/homeopathic perspective, these are, of course, the people most skilled at bringing raw, bleeding issues around dependence, resentment, etc., to the surface. But, let's face it, it's no fun.

I sent DC a short fan email, letting her know that I appreciated her book. To my surprise, she responded right away. This is what she wrote: "Very odd,  ....  I just sat down at the computer to write the story of my mother's death for an article on the blog.  It's a huge life passage, so it's important to allow yourself all the space you need to process it."

"All the space" I need. That's something I've been thinking of a lot lately: breathing space. When I find myself facing distress or conflict, I find that it works better for me to try to give the feelings more space to move and to breathe, rather than try to overcome them by jamming the signal with contrary "positive" thoughts. Focusing on feelings and physical sensations more than on thought contents, I find that giving some time and space to what I'm already feeling tends to take me naturally into a more bearable place sooner than I might have expected. When difficult feelings are given more breathing space, I'm sometimes amazed at how much power is contained within them and within the physical and emotional contractions that are trying to isolate them and hold them in place. Releasing those contractions is like releasing a deep, complex sound, like a gong or a complex harmony.

And so, to bed.

Om Kali Ma,


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