Khalid Hussain (khalid_hussain) wrote,
Khalid Hussain

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Ponedjeljak 14 Ramazan 1439

Planet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Moon

Prophet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Adam

The Sun is in 7 Gemini (in my 9th house): Aroused strikers surround a factory. (Symbol for 8 Gemini from Dane Rudhyar, An Astrological Mandala)

The Moon is at 24Sco22 (in my 3rd house). Lunar mansion (according to Ibn 'Arabi): 19, The Air, letter Zāy, The Living (Al-Ḥayy)

Lunar phase: Gibbous - Overcoming (phase names and keywords from Dane Rudhyar, The Lunation Cycle)

Later this morning the Moon will transit my natal Venus (in my 3rd house). In the late afternoon the Moon will enter Sagittarius (in my 3rd house).

I have been reading further in Erin Sullivan's The Astrology of Midlife and Aging. I have generated a report for the aspects contained in the table on p. 51 of her book. What I noticed from that was that, during the times when Neptune was square its natal position, I got along well with X. Interspersed with those times were times when Uranus opposing its natal position intervened. Those were the difficult times, the last of which led to the dissolution of our friendship. In her description of Uranus in Virgo (where it is in my natal chart), she characterizes the basic nature as being one of serving, of "being on call for others." During the opposition of Uranus to its natal position (when transiting Uranus was in Pisces), this sense of service became intensified to the point of sacrifice. If successful, the sacrifice would have brought about clearer awareness of issues, and perhaps potentials, that may have been hidden heretofore. It was during the period of Uranus's opposition to its natal position that X revealed, first, his struggles with alcohlism and, later, his history as an abuse survivor. In a positive sense, one could say that he was sharing aspects of himself and reaching out for support. In a negative sense, one could say that he was playing on my sympathies and doing so quite successfully. There is proably some truth in both perspectives. With respect to the negative perspective, I had observed him playing upon other people's sympathies, and then betraying them and discarding them. This appears to have been one of his principal patterns, and of course I would ultimately be no exception.

When I think of the things that were sacrificed at that time, by making X and the Amma path my priorities I compromised my effectiveness in my profession, my relationship became strained, I suspended my identification with Sufism as my primary spiritual path, and ultimately my friendship with X failed. It was not until about 5 years later, in 2010, that I seriously began to reconsider my relationship to the Amma path, and by 2013 I definitively walked away from it and reconnected with Islam, although more as an individual than as an active member of a tariqat. One potentially significant stage in this process came in early September 2010, when I visited my mother's grave for the first time since her funeral (which was in January 2008). Saturn was trine to its natal position on September 9, 2010. In general, the period from 2009-13 had an emphasis on heritage. In May 2009, my nodal axis opposed its natal position. In the summer of 2009, my father took me to Slovakia in order to explore my mother's cultural heritage. In March 2012, I visited him in his new home in Florida for the first time. At that time Uranus was quincunx its natal position. That's when I began to develop an interest in studying the Slovak language. Ultimately, increasing attention to my Slavic heritage combined with my renewed interest in Islam and led to my focusing on Bosnia as a cultural base from which to explore Islam more deeply. Saturn squared its natal position from November 2012 to July 2013. In the summer of 2013 I visited Newfoundland with my father and brother, once again exploring connections with heritage, since some of my father's ancestors had come from there.

Addendum (6:35 p.m.): In her chapter, "The Half-Uranus House," Sullivan characterizes the sixth house midlife transit of Uranus (for people whose natal Uranus is in the 12th house) as an emphasis on the embodiment of traits that tend to have been subordinated or possibly concealed due to other concerns. During this period, I placed my involvement in spiritual community above just about everything else, as if I were temporarily effacing my profession and relationship in favor of becoming a spiritual seeker first, with a job and a relationship on the side. I had certainly been active as a spiritual seeker for some years prior to this period, but much of that activity had been online and in the margins of my work and household concerns. It was only when I became involved in NAJ in Atlanta that I began to build more of a social circle around my spiritual interests, and when I left to move here, that became intensified once I had met X and had become inspired by the intensity with which he pursued his spiritual path.



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