Khalid Hussain (khalid_hussain) wrote,
Khalid Hussain

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Utorak 12 Ševval 1439

Planet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Mars

Prophet of the day (according to Ibn 'Arabi): Aaron & John

The Sun is in 5 Cancer (in my 10th house): Game birds feathering their nests. (Symbol for 6 Cancer from Dane Rudhyar, An Astrological Mandala)

The Moon is at 19Sag53 (in my 4th house). Lunar mansion (according to Ibn 'Arabi): 21, The Earth, letter Ṣād, The Death-Giver (Al-Mumīt)

Lunar phase: Gibbous - Overcoming (phase names and keywords from Dane Rudhyar, The Lunation Cycle)

Shortly after sunrise, the Moon entered my 4th house. About 2.5 hours ago, my progressed Moon (in my 4th house) formed a trine with my natal Uranus (in my 12th house). In about an hour, the Moon will transit my natal Moon (in my 4th house).

I have been reading Chapter 8 of Sullivan's book. She presents the Saturn opposition and Uranus post-opposition quincunx as happening at about ages 44-5. In my case, the Saturn opposition occurred at age 43, followed by the Saturn post-opposition trine at age 47 and Uranus post-opposition quincunx at age 49.

The Saturn opposition happened three times, between Aug 26, 2005 and May 5, 2006. I kept handwritten journals during this period and referenced them to see what had been going on at that time. The first opposition occurred shortly after my family gathered to disperse my grandmother's ashes in the Long Island Sound. Throughout that period I was friends with Y. My journals reveal that I frequently struggled in my communication with him, although there were moments in which I found his personal attention pleasing and reassuring. I entered this period as a client of a hypnotherapist and left her practice shortly before the second of the three oppositions. I then began to work with a conventional therapist, who I also left after a few months. After the oppositions were through, I began to work with yet another therapist, with whom I worked on and off until after my mother's death. A topic that I explored with the hypnotherapist was "abandonment pain." I related this intuitively to separation trauma following birth. Around that time I was reading Otto Rank, and then Stanislav Grof. I attended a Holotropic Breathwork workshop in March, 2006. Given the fact that the Saturn opposition was occurring during this time, it is easy to see why themes of separation and individuation would have been playing out through the experience of the "bottom falling out" of personal relationships, as I felt misunderstood or "not met" emotionally. Sullivan sees this period as one of coming back to one's historical sense of self following the upheavals of earlier (Uranus-opposition) phases of midlife.

The Saturn trine occurred on Sep 9, 2010. I recall that I visited my mother's grave on Labor Day weekend that year, the first time I had done so since my mother's funeral. I had also resumed the practice of salat by then, having lost motivation in my daily Amma-related practices. By the time the Uranus quincunx occurred, on Mar 25, 2012, I had moved further away from the Amma organization. I recall that I attended only a public program during the summer of that year (rather than the retreat that I had done annually since 2003) and I have not been back since.

Late this morning I had an attempted dental implant. Unfortunately, the implant did not take as securely as the oral surgeon was hoping, so he performed a second bone graft and said he would give the implant a second implant in a few months. This was disappointing and somewhat uncomfortable, but there were are.



Addendum: At the end of Chapter 8, Sullivan mentions the inversion of the lunar nodes and the Jupiter return. The inversion of my nodes occurred on May 7, 2009 when I was 46 years old. (I think I already wrote somewhere--perhaps here--that that preceded my trip to Slovakia with my father that summer. That directed attention to questions of heritage.) The Jupiter return occurred on Jan 30, 2010 when I was 47 years old.

Chapter 9 is devoted to age fifty and up to the second Saturn return. Toward the beginning of the chapter, Sullivan mentions the Saturn trine (which I experienced in Sep 2010, at age 47, as I mentioned previously) and the waning Saturn square, which I experieced three times--D on Nov 18, 2012; Rx on Jun 16, 2013; and D on Jul 29, 2013--all at the age of 50. My father visited for my 50th birthday in early November, 2012. Around the time of the second square I visited Newfoundland with my father and brother on another heritage trip. In August, 2013 my CD of music by Rudhyar was released, which led to my work becoming recognized by composers who were associated with Rudhyar, such as Peter Michael Hamel and Peter Garland. This has gradually been opening up another phase in my professional work.

I am going to stop here because I have more transits to print out in preparation for going through the remainder of Chapter 9.

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