Khalid Hussain (khalid_hussain) wrote,
Khalid Hussain

Patient exploration

Recently I did an internet search for connections between dark ambient music and devotion to Kali. Among other things, I came up with the name of Jade Sol Luna, an astrologer who spent time in India as a Kali devotee and who was instructed by his guru to adapt his worship of the Dark Mother to a western format. He now identifies himself as a devotee of Hecate.

I have also discovered the work of Phil Hine, who has made contributions to the literature on Chaos Magick and who is also interested in tantra as well as recent European philosophy (particiularly Deleuze). For a time he identified as gay, and now identifies as bisexual. He has an extensive blog that seems to have some interesting ideas on it.

This semester I have a high school student in my class who plays in a black metal band. I've been learning about black metal, and now know my way around much of the music of Darkthrone, Burzum, Wolves in the Throne Room, and Agalloch.

For a while I went through a phase where I tried to disassociate my interests from (perceived or misperceived) connections with right wing ideologies, particularly European neofascism. A more general project this semester is to challenge my fears of the dark, however that may be defined.

Part of Jade Luna's work involves encouraging his clients to move through their fears of Shadow. From what I am experiencing now, there is a directness to his approach (and to the combination of influences I'm taking in at the moment) that moves beyond the stodginess and staginess of the spiritual, psychological, and esoteric approaches I've tried to work with in the past.

A week ago Saturday I went to a Kali puja at a high school a few towns away. That was the day that we had an early snow, which was followed by a historic power outage. It was a typically chaotic public puja. At some point I think I would like to do a retreat near a Kali mandir and attend several simple daily pujas in relative quiet.

Perhaps most importantly, I'm working on renouncing notions of spiritual or psychological "improvement" or "sanitization" of any kind, in favor of staying with immediate experience, whether it be pleasant, neutral, uncomfortable, or even scary. Things have a way of finding their own natural level that way, and interpersonal ethics have a way of taking care of themselves, without contant prissiness and compusive intervention.




  • Nedjelja, 1. zu-l-hidždže 1442

    I recently had a video chat with the friend who introduced me to LJ. In recent years I have had few opportunities to converse with spiritual…

  • Nedjelja 15 Ševval 1441

    I have begun reading a book by the workshop presenter I mentioned in the last post. This is something I had purchased for myself in late 2018 with…

  • Subota 7 Ševval 1441

    Last Saturday I participated in an online workshop on dreams and astrology. Participants were encouraged to bring a dream (recent or from the past)…

  • Post a new comment


    Comments allowed for friends only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded