These feelings may be related to my practice of the Bawa M dhikr yesterday. I noticed, while I was doing it, that it involved a fair amount of invocation of names, not limited to the Asma'ul Husna or Muhammad, but also included archangels as elemental spirits (water, air, fire, and--instead of earth--protection), and angels that question one at the grave, that watch over the left and right shoulders, and that are in charge of heaven and hell. Somehow, there are quasi-cosmological and even magical implications to this that seem to be in line with my resurgent esoteric interests.
One thing that I can say about my experiences connected with Amma is that I seem to have a clearer sense of what devotion to Muhammad can feel like. While I was definitely put through my paces regarding the pitfalls of having personal friends loom large in my spiritual pursuits during the Amma period, some areas of spiritual sensitivity do seem to have opened up as well.
Having seen the mention of Bawa M on GLBTQ Sufis this morning, which I remarked on in a previous post, I was reminded of my decision yesterday regarding whether to bring Bawa M's dhikr booklet with me on my walk, or the NAJ morning wird. After flipping through the NAJ wird and being reminded of how lengthy and complex it is, I opted for the more compact Bawa M booklet. Apart from Nur and Fariha, there is a heaviness to the Jerrahi foundations of NAJ that I find I have had trouble relating to. This includes what little of Muzaffer Ozak's Irshad I have read.
Having made the decision that I did yesterday, even though I was thinking at the time that I don't have much of a living connection to the Bawa tradition, I think something may have been going on there intuitively. After the experiences I have been having since yesterday, I am reminded that Bawa was Nur's teacher before Muzaffer Ozak. It may also be significant that I have Bawa's Resonance of Allah book on my rihal which, along with the Qur'an which rests on a wooden stool, marks the direction of qibla in my study (which is where I typically pray). I enjoy reading bits of Bawa's book when I find the time. Having recently met the Iranian grad student, who identifies in some respects with Persia's Zoroastrian past, I am reminded of Bawa's four religions typology. There may, or may not, be something to all of that.
But for now, back to grading midterms.