Khalid Hussain (khalid_hussain) wrote,
Khalid Hussain
khalid_hussain

Farewells

The past little while has been a bit of a struggle. Outwardly I feel as if I have been striving (with some success) to stay on top of work-related issues. On an inner level, I'm not quite sure, but it feels as if I've been struggling with the knowledge that it is time to let go of some elements of my life that had become normalized--or even central--at one time or another, but that may have outlived their usefulness, or at least the specific forms in which I have previously recognized them.

Within the last day I received an invitation to present some of my research in an informal context before colleagues in the school of which my department is one part--this, after having grown accustomed to the idea that people here tend not to recognize my research as being valuable or interesting. Maybe these ideas of devaluation can be liberating in a way.

In connection with this invitation (which will be about Rudhyar) I decided to check the current planetary transits to my natal chart. It turns out that, at the moment that I check, the Sun was moving over Chiron (planetoid, or "centaur," representing the Wounded Healer) in the 6th house of my chart, which represents one's workplace, as well as issues having to do with health. This observation inspired me to give a little more space to my feelings of discomfort while yet getting on with things that I need to attend to.

Among the things I was struggling with was that I have a ticket to see White Lies in NYC tonight, but was feeling too exhausted and busy to go. I ultimately decided to forfeit the ticket and to stay local, but I also decided to listen to their albums on the way to and from work. As I listened to their first album this morning, I was reminded of the fact that I became aware of their music after going through a Joy Division phase following my mother's death. I had been looking for other "darkwave" bands, and Interpol, White Lies, and Editors were the names that came up most frequently online. As I listened to their music this morning, I was struck by how steeped their lyrics are in themes of death by accident, impending warfare, murder, suicide, mental illness, scientific "suicide missions," funerals, leaving familiar surroundings behind, etc. Typical adolescent angst themes, but in the financial and political turmoil of 2008 and beyond (their album came out in 2009), these themes seem to take on a more general significance. That and, having lived under the shadow of my mother's impending death for 5-6 years, with other deaths and losses during and since that time, the music can actually be kind of therapeutic to review, live concert or no live concert. Plus, they have a great sound and are a good-looking band. So, there you go. :-)

Peace,

KH

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